Elaine's retreat at Rim Rock

These are photos from last week's watercolor retreat in Eastern Washington's Rim Rock Inn. I met with 7 great woman and we spend the week steeped in art. I was able to learn quite a bit and while truly enjoying the outdoors. Sleeping in a my very own tepee brought me back to a time that I never actually lived. During the night, I felt cradled in the stars and the dawns were particularly spectacular.   

Here is a link to a youtube at sunrise.

http://youtu.be/EcNZKAfVf_8

Moons like Magic

Moons like magic

with cinnamon and sugar,

Craters from a majestic old lake,

sprinkled

like treasures

finds in the dark,

they wait for you.

Curves like old friends,

familiar, foreign, but not forgotten

flexible

are those who wind up their internal clocks

to repeat,

consistently,

Wanted or not. They show.

Predictable and sweet.

They embrace and surrender to thee,

Full moon in Scorpio times three.

They believe in the depths of the ring

and the light, and the masterful

core and delight,

In cleaning of wounds 

rather than scrubbing them.

The healing stage hurts the most,

Before the edges become smooth

and the angles roast,

Calmly caressing the contents of your

valleys and peaks,

alleyways and caves,

cool waves and heat.

They meet. She greets.

Love is released

Here is the same photo but with a little computer work to make it look moon like. The first one was completed using paints and tape only. Which do you prefer? I love the poem. Courtney paints directly into my brain so that I can see embrace, cinnamon and caves. Like a magic pipeline from god. 

Wedding Photos!

Here are some preliminary photos from Daniella's  wedding. The professional shots are coming soon!

Colette figuring out the whole flower girl thing

My Children Keir and Daniella

Colette, Alex and Cleo

Buster

Colette and Daniella

Daniella, Keir and Sandra

Emily and Keir

Matt and Corey

Buster, Jean and Cleo

Keir and Colette

Sandra, Natalie and Erica

Racheal and Meredith

Poetry

Poetry

poetry is what happens

in

between

breaths

it's the packed bags

the night sweats

the confidence

the inept

it resides where you

let it

and stays

where it wants

I took to forgive

I 

    took forgiveness 

out of a book 

and 

put it in real life. 

It felt different to give 

instead of read

about giving. 

I feel as though I've joined a privileged club 

of people 

who wear

        invisible name badges 

        and have chains full of keys 

to rooms 

that most people don't 

even know are there. 

Weightless

Weightless

The weight is

released. free

to let go, or move on

to stay, 

to not know.

there is no stress

to guess

at what is next.

today is Saturday.

weightless,

I rest.

Found some comfort in Rabindranath Tagore today.

Limbo

Limbo

I was with her at the moment of death.
When her heart stopped,
when she drew her last breath.
She left my sister and I at her bedside,
in a body that she would no longer reside,
to wonder where she had gone
hours and hours before dawn.
Like a ship on the foggiest horizon,
giving off the faintest siren.
Sounding a bit like a celestial chorus
that gave my sister’s corpus solace.
She disappeared into the night
Never again to see the morning light.

I feel we are all one
Here in my body you in that one.
In the lowly cricket
and in the granite
Namaste, The holy spirit,
All on one planet.
 
But my mom who just closed her eyes
and can’t hear my cries,
shatters my feeling sof one
I’m here in my body and she in no one.
And so I must wait
until they open the gate
And hope she leaves limbo
so she can open my window
to say she is alright
and that her new life is bright.

Sketching with Urban Sketchers at the Wright Park this Wednesday.

Les Trois Cypres

Memorial site for Simone Olmsted aka mom

http://simonechabal.blogspot.com

Dust in the Wind

 

A poem for Luke

 Yesterday
   I went to the town dump
   with things
   that were 
   piling up
   at my mom's house.

I had already placed the bulk of our family pictures up on the internet,
so I ended up pitching 50 old photo albums.

It was hard to do.

  I saw a photo of my brother Luke
at graduation
   flutter  in the breeze.

As I drove away I played
"Dust in the Wind" and all
of a sudden
I could feel my brother
as a teenager, bouncing over
the rough dump road with me
in the passenger seat.
   Just laughing.

He was happy to be released
from the photo and
returned to my heart.
And 
   it all felt Okay.

Rolling the Dice is Paradise

A Busy day and Erica's house. Today we finished clearing out mom's room, moved Erica into the spare bedroom, moved me in to Erica's old room. Erica will be getting a roommate shortly. And I will be bringing home all kinds of pottery, fabric and what-nots.  It is hard to let go of EVERYTHING. As it is 95% of her stuff is gone. We still have to got through some old letters and photos.


Around noon, I visited mom and she was sleeping deeply. The kind with the super shallow breaths. Her eyes half open and her mouth all the way open. But after an hour of that she woke up and we visited a bit. She was in some pain and got a bit of morphine.  We did have a few nice moments, but she tires quickly. Just a regular day up in Paradise. I did find out how the town of Paradise got its name. It was originally a boom gold rush digging town and then quickly turned into a gambling town. And so it was coined. "Pair-o'-dice"  The mayor, who had lofty hopes for the town, thought it best for everyone's sake to change the name to Paradise.

SOM 2015

Something I know

Something I know

A bird flies
with familar
certainty,
a confidence,
natural and
inherent...
not because
it is born
with      wings,
but because she
learns
how to use them.

The Sounds of Life

I stare at the page,
lost in noises
of water
and wind
and evening mist
    forming.
I realize    at     this   moment
that the sounds of life
are all around me,
and although
I have nothing
to say about them
     the empty lines
describe.   it  all
           beautifully.

On the Road.

Been on the road for the past two days. It was a lovely drive from Tacoma to Chico. Lots of hills as well as several large mountain passes.

Alice

Alice

I'm lucky because
I was able to
paddle
alongside you,
if only
for
part of the way.

How do I find presence? Live in the numerator as much as possible.

How do I get present?

Every situation can be seen from two perspectives. The numerator comes from presence and the denominator is more our human condition. Focusing on the mindful top side allows for greater presence and a happier life. 

% Authenticity =	Courage to say what I feel     Fear of not being liked
%  Clarity =	Celebrating the Mystery Living in Misery
% Good Orderly Direction =	What we do with our lives    What happens to us
% Growth =	Expand    Contract
% Happiness =	Gratitude Gratification
% Humility =	Honoring the Sacred In Horror of the scary
% Integrity =	Keep my promises        Don’t keep my promises
% Perspective =	Depth    Shallow
% Power =	Responsibility Reactivity
% Spaciousness =	Acceptance Resistance
% Serenity =	Wanting what I can change Wanting what I can not change
% Spiritual =	Mindfulness    Egoism

By Sandra Moreano

Drawing Puddles of Tears as I think of my mom.

Pour Toi - Thoughts with my Mom

 

The top left reminds me of a time with my mom
We were flying to Chico in a small plane.(top left)
We both gazed out the window and saw the moon aglow( top right)
and then felt great love for each other ( bottom left)
And today I still dream about this ( bottom right)
 

No Road

Tired arms

Mark Helprin In Sunlight and in Shadow

“Souls, like rays of light, exist in perfect, parallel equality, always. But for when infinitely short a time they pass through the rough and delaying mechanism of life, they separate and disentangle, encountering different obstacles, traveling at different rates, like light refracted by the friction of things in its path. Emerging on the other side, they run together once more, in perfection. For the short and difficult span when confounded by matter and time they are made unequal, they try to bind together as they always were and eventually will be. The impulse to do so is called love. The extend to which they exceed is called justice. And the energy lost in the effort is called sacrifice. On the infinite scale of things, this life is to a spark what a spark is to all the time man can imagine, but still, like a sudden rapids or bend in the river, it is that to which the eye of God may be drawn from time to time out of interest in happenstance.”
― Mark Helprin, In Sunlight and in Shadow



This quote above describes my feelings today as my mom begins her travels to a back of perfect light and love. She is sleeping about 20 hours a day now but is peaceful.  It is hard to do any painting right now. Maybe soon

I'm her in this town.

 

I'm here in this town

I was raised to try harder than I want,
and to accept
getting buried in someone else's treasure.

I'm just alright but the moon's awkward light,
asked me to promise
to bear this sort of burden.

When I look to the stars
to see which one is ours,
   I barely, just barely
   trust the answer.

So I'll do what I can
to share this great land 
and to take out all the hills and distractions.

Though I know that I'm one
and I know she is too,
I've made a promise to always support her.

I'll catch her when she falls,
I'll wrap her when she's cold,
and I'll breathe on my own
when I'm able.

I'm here in this town, on somewhat familiar ground
giving the gift that I know
I was called to.

So pass me the light and I'll point it just right   
to    the    places
that need a little brilliance.