Dear Erica,
Wow last week was really a challenge.
When you called 911 to bring mom to the hospital I knew I had made the right
decision to fly to Chico and help you out. Arriving several hours later, sometime
after 10pm, she looked weak and sick. Her cough just rattled and seized her
whole body. My heart sank when the doctor spoke of limited reserves and the
long climb back to health ahead of her. To get better she would have to make
efforts to move and keep the inflammation from settling in. You looked tired as
well, it was the end of a long day after
a series of long days that started with a simple flu running through the entire
family. And thus began my first night sleeping bedside in the hospital. Luckily
the rattling cough eased by morning and she was able to endure the treatments
without much fuss. In fact she did well. Better than expected. The medications
and respiratory treatments were quite effective. The acute part of the illness ended
after a few days and she returned home.
Now we face a long recovery period that is doubtful to return to
baseline. I struggle to let all of this
be normal. Because it is normal and quite natural. She has had a long vital
life and is preparing for a transition
to a new world. I struggle to let it all happen in her own time. Not to push it
along and not to fight it. I struggle to find that sweet middle spot in which
she and I and you can live each day with ease. She isn’t in any pain. She just
wants to rest. She wants to sleep in and
nap in-between meals. She wants an early night and to find refuge in her
dreams. She is always dreaming good and hard. This is a blessing. It is as if
her dream life is now more vivid than the real one. Afterall deams don’t
require an ability to talk, to hear, to see to touch etc. Our everyday life so
depends upon full use of our senses. Something she doesn’t have. When she awakes to retell a dream it is always
as if she has been transported to another time and place. She is doing good work the work of going
home.
All my love,
Your sister Sandra
