I was with her at the moment of death. When her heart stopped, when she drew her last breath. She left my sister and I at her bedside, in a body that she would no longer reside, to wonder where she had gone hours and hours before dawn. Like a ship on the foggiest horizon, giving off the faintest siren. Sounding a bit like a celestial chorus that gave my sister’s corpus solace. She disappeared into the night Never again to see the morning light.
I feel we are all one Here in my body you in that one. In the lowly cricket and in the granite Namaste, The holy spirit, All on one planet.
But my mom who just closed her eyes and can’t hear my cries, shatters my feeling sof one I’m here in my body and she in no one. And so I must wait until they open the gate And hope she leaves limbo so she can open my window to say she is alright and that her new life is bright.
A Busy day and Erica's house. Today we finished clearing out mom's room, moved Erica into the spare bedroom, moved me in to Erica's old room. Erica will be getting a roommate shortly. And I will be bringing home all kinds of pottery, fabric and what-nots. It is hard to let go of EVERYTHING. As it is 95% of her stuff is gone. We still have to got through some old letters and photos.
Around noon, I visited mom and she was sleeping deeply. The kind with the super shallow breaths. Her eyes half open and her mouth all the way open. But after an hour of that she woke up and we visited a bit. She was in some pain and got a bit of morphine. We did have a few nice moments, but she tires quickly. Just a regular day up in Paradise. I did find out how the town of Paradise got its name. It was originally a boom gold rush digging town and then quickly turned into a gambling town. And so it was coined. "Pair-o'-dice" The mayor, who had lofty hopes for the town, thought it best for everyone's sake to change the name to Paradise.